Thru the good and the bad...

Mister Sailor Man and I have a very long history. Starting in 2004 when we first met and expanding thru the years.
We have been thru more in those years then a lot of people go thru in a lifetime. There are memories that make we want to cry, ones that fill me with immense happiness, and ones that make me want to strangle him. ;-) 
We have been thru close family deaths, graduations, children, driver licenses, tattoos, new apartments, debt,  surgery, cars, jobs; the biggest mistakes in our lives; and the best choices ever. 
We have a kind of love that was instant when we first met....but one that has grown in an unbelievable way. We have grown from the15 year old kids, dumb struck from puppy love; to adults that have come to respect each other; respect the decisions we have made and the people we have become. We have grown together, grown apart, grown up, and are standing together today, better for it.
We have had many chapters in our lives. And now I for some reason today, am left wondering.  Is the Navy going to be another chapter in our lives together....an adventure we went on.....or is it going to be our lives?
Arguably, 20 years could still obviously be considered a "chapter"....it's not like he'll be 60 when retirement rolls around. But I wonder....is it a chapter that I want to last that long?
Lovey once said to me that if I ever decided I "couldn't" do this anymore; that that would be the end of it. He would rather give up the Navy then give up his family.
That was a very nice thing for him to offer....but now I'm thinking what the hell?
That's just mean!
I stay behind while he goes away and try to explain to our daughter why Daddy missed another one of her birthdays, that Daddy does still love her, that he misses her and thinks about her, that Daddy still loves Mommy even tho he's away, that yes, Daddy will eventually have to go away for a long time again. I have to explain to her why her Daddy stays at work for months and other Daddy's are home for dinner. I have to go to my ultrasound appts and tell the doctor that no the Daddy won't be there. I have to go to bed at night alone, cry alone, discipline alone.
How can I not hate this? How can I not want to say not to re enlist when the time comes?
He is so happy. I can see the drive and fire in him for this job that I never saw in him before. I know he loves this. 
I would never put my own happiness ahead of his for my own selfish reasons.
But our kids....The life that our daughter is still struggling to become accustomed to; and the life that our son is being born into. Is it fair?
Ultimately it will be up to me to instill pride versus resentment in our children.
But is it all worth it?
Greg and I always say that we will always figure everything out together. 
So I guess we'll make thru this all as a family....thru the bad and the good.

 ~*~ Military So's are in the ranks rarely seen ~*~