So Close...Yet So Far....

As a military SO, you learn many things quickly. You learn to avoid the commissary on pay days, that the American Flag now has so much more meaning to you, that there are infinite military SO support facebook pages, that other military SOs will become your best friends, your stand in husband, your second parent, your therapist, and babysitter all in one. You learn what random intials mean, that uniform covers should NOT go in the dryer no matter what the tag says, and that you will start noticing everything red white & blue, camo, or with an anchor in every store. You learn that nothing is set in stone, that your children will have no hometown, that duty days are ALWAYS on the most inconvient days and that changes to your life are made at a moment's notice, with no regard to your feelings.
These things way heavy on our hearts. But I am learning. I am learning how to feel near to my heart, when it is so many miles away. When deployment first started, Greg decided we would have a date every night. Every night at 9pm, I go outside and sit on the curb and stare at the moon. And I know that wherever he is, on the beach or on the ship, at that very moment he is staring at the moon too, and we are connected. For those amazing 15 minutes that we promised to sit alone and look up, I am with him again. I can close my eyes and feel him next to me. Feel him sitting there, smiling big, holding my hand with our fingers laced...fitting as perfectly as they did the first day he ever held it.  So every time he changes locations, I recalculate the time difference to make sure, I am outside for our date at the same time that he is. I love him so much for thinking of that. For thinking of a way for us to be together for 15 minutes every night.
And in those 15 minutes, I breathe easy...I know that soon enough he will be home. Soon enough, we will put our daughter to bed, and sit out on the back porch together. Across from each other, with my legs stretched out, feet up on his lap. Staring at eachother, talking. Never running out of things to say. Laughing together in the cool night air. Knowing that we fit too perfectly together...until we realize the time. Then go off to bed, with my head in my nook, listening to his heartbeat, as he runs his fingers thru my hair and we both drift off to sleep.
I know that soon enough, that memory will be a reality again....even for a few precious weeks; before I once again go back to sitting outside alone on the curb for 15 minutes to feel close to the man I wish I could spend everyday of the rest of my life with.
The word Love has never had so much meaning to me as it does when he is away. I am in awe on how strong the bond between two people can be. I am amazed that I can go days without an email, weeks without hearing his voice, and months without seeing his face or feeling his touch; but yet I know now more then ever, that this is where I belong. I belong here, living OUR life on my own, paying our bills, raising our daughter, protecting our son in my belly, cleaning our house and patiently waiting for his return. So that he can once again stand along side me to live our lives.....together.